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Tuesday, August 09, 2005
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the message that the PacificPalisades High School (California) staff votedunanimously to record on their school telephoneanswering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.
This is the actual answering machine messagefor the school:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do hiswork- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:
Hang up and have a nice day!
If you can read this - thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English - thank a veteran!
***********************************************************************************
THE TELEMARKETER
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with,
"Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?"
This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked,
"Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with TheRubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side,
"Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."
I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouseto testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The tele-marketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody.
At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.
My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the message that the PacificPalisades High School (California) staff votedunanimously to record on their school telephoneanswering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.
This is the actual answering machine messagefor the school:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do hiswork- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:
Hang up and have a nice day!
If you can read this - thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English - thank a veteran!
***********************************************************************************
THE TELEMARKETER
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with,
"Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?"
This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked,
"Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with TheRubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side,
"Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."
I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouseto testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The tele-marketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody.
At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.
My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.
