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Friday, August 19, 2005
The MAKER of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured. Regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect of the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units. Code named: Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-morality, or commonly known as "SIN". Some symptoms include, but are not limited to: Loss of direction. Lack of peace and joy, depression, or confusion in the mental component. Also, foul vocal emissions, selfish, and/or violent, behavior. Amnesia of origin, fearfulness, or rebellion.
To correct this "sin defect", the MANUFACTURER, (who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect), is providing factory authorized repair and service -- free of charge.
The REPAIR TECHNICIAN, (JESUS), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: (simply), P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected. Please upload your burden of sin through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the REPAIR TECHNICIAN, (JESUS), into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the "sin defect" is, JESUS will replace it with:
* Love * Joy * Peace * Kindness * Goodness * Faithfulness * Gentleness * Patience * Self Control.
Please see the operating manual, (Holy Bible), for further details on the use of this upgrade.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to (all repaired units), direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance technician, (the HOLY SPIRIT).
Repaired units need only make HIM welcome and HE will take up residence on the premises.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without making these corrections voids the MANUFACTURER'S warranty, exposing the unit to many dangers and problems -- and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded in a place called, "Hell".
*For Free emergency service, call on JESUS.
Thank you for your attention.
Please notify everyone you can of this important recall notice. Amen.
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
The MAKER of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured. Regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect of the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units. Code named: Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-morality, or commonly known as "SIN". Some symptoms include, but are not limited to: Loss of direction. Lack of peace and joy, depression, or confusion in the mental component. Also, foul vocal emissions, selfish, and/or violent, behavior. Amnesia of origin, fearfulness, or rebellion.
To correct this "sin defect", the MANUFACTURER, (who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect), is providing factory authorized repair and service -- free of charge.
The REPAIR TECHNICIAN, (JESUS), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: (simply), P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected. Please upload your burden of sin through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the REPAIR TECHNICIAN, (JESUS), into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the "sin defect" is, JESUS will replace it with:
* Love * Joy * Peace * Kindness * Goodness * Faithfulness * Gentleness * Patience * Self Control.
Please see the operating manual, (Holy Bible), for further details on the use of this upgrade.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to (all repaired units), direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance technician, (the HOLY SPIRIT).
Repaired units need only make HIM welcome and HE will take up residence on the premises.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without making these corrections voids the MANUFACTURER'S warranty, exposing the unit to many dangers and problems -- and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded in a place called, "Hell".
*For Free emergency service, call on JESUS.
Thank you for your attention.
Please notify everyone you can of this important recall notice. Amen.
