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Sunday, July 17, 2005
It's July the seventeenth, twothousand and five. I don't come to blogger anymore everyday. I am getting tired of the computer. I go to www.myspace.com, and to www.neopet.com, and I do my e-mail also, and lately I had so many e-mails, that I got tired of answering them!!
I do this to myself, I want to talk to people, but then, I realise that I want to be an annonymous speaker more than I want to actually know the people. I joined this online group, and it sounded so good, it's a group where you can ask for prayers, and give praise reports, and do bible studies, but then that added 30 or more e-mails to my address per day!!
So now, I have been going to the www.alienlovespredator.com site and hide out there in many of the forums, talking nonsense. I like Abe and Preston though. The person who draws the comic is really good and funny (at times). Sometimes he/she is just irreverant. Like having JESUS stay at Abe and Preston's apartment, and HE is a pitcher for some ball team.
HE is the best player ever, though. I guess that is something, huh?? If JESUS played the game, I bet that HE would be the best player ever!! Yet, to live in the apartment with those two stinking extraterrestials??
Sorry, I guess that HE (JESUS), is extraterrestial HIMSELF?? Being that GOD is HIS FATHER, well....., in the PERSON of the HOLY SPIRIT, WHO overshadowed Mary to impregnate her. So, when you think of it. I now decide that HE is the perfect room-mate for Abe the alien, and Preston, the predator. They all seem to really get along.
Anyway, leaving the world of people from another place, and coming back down to earth, at least the place that I have always thought fondly of as "earth". I don't know though, this may be a segment of the T.V. show I had come to know as "The Twilight Zone".
Sometimes, I just want to go to bed, and then go to sleep, and then wake up!! Wake up in a different reality. It doesn't matter what other people think, it only matters what I think. I don't want to follow through with this senario. I've gotten to the age that I am now, and I am tired of this life. No, I didn't say I'm tired of living, I said this life!!
I want a life where I wake up and I am me, only better. I have gotten used to being me. I used to love being me. Maybe that was just injected into my memory?? I seem to have the memory that I loved being me. I had fun, (at least I thought that I had fun), long ago. It was stupid, but then, I was young. So what did I know??
I have memories of having some scary moments during the time that I was raising my three children. Still, either I got through that okay, or else I have memories injected into my mind making me think that I got through that part of life pretty okay. Not any real tragic happenings, well....., at least not any that I couldn't live with.
When I wake up, and I am myself, only better, I don't care if I am still 58!! I don't care if I am still separated from Richard. Except, that if I were myself, only better, I do think that I would have filed for a divorce at least two years ago. Why do I think that there is something in me right now that is hindering me from doing that anyway??
Because I haven't done it!!! There's no better watermark of whether an idea is doable, or not doable, than that of either doing it or not doing it. Right?? Makes perfect sense to me. If I could of divorced him, I would have done it. I can't even decide what I want to eat for breakfast in this reality, or even if I want to eat, at all.
Sometimes I wonder how I made it to this age, I was so full of indecision, all my life, (or at least I have a memory of being indecisive all my life). It is so cool when you watch movies, and it is going along at a great clip, then "gong", everything changes!! It isn't real at all, the person who had the wonderful life, is really all tied up in a straightjacket, and is being awakened by some weird looking nurse patting him/her on the side of their face!!
Saying, "wake up, so and so, it's time for your sleeping pills, doctors orders"!! That's what I'm waiting to happen. I'll wake up in some medical lab, with a anal probe, and catheter, and little blue, (yes, blue~~not grey), creatures squiggling all over the floor, and tall Asian looking aliens talking in a language that sounds like "clock glugg blook bliggah doon doonee gonk".
Oh, the little blue squiggling thingies are like janitors, you know like snails in a fish bowl?? I am so happy though, 'cause then I'll know that I'm not really dying slowly of what ever disease this is I have right now, that makes me hurt twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!! Yeah!!
I STILL want to be the mother of my three kids, Gilbert is someone elses joy now. I couldn't take him away from Ann, and LaShane has her five kids!! She and Garth Sr., are happy and have a good relationship, wouldn't want to ruin that.
Cherokee has the whole world open before her, if I wasn't here, she could do anything in the world she wanted to do. So, if I was up on the Mothership, all of my kids would get along fine, and my grandkids would forget about me quick enough. Then on the other hand, if I had of gotten abducted before I was 16, would that have changed the world so much??
Maybe?? Maybe not?? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, damn!! Never mind. I'm here, and I've had years and years to do what I wanted to do, so if I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted to do. That's on me, right?? Every body has to make their own choices. I've made mine. Mistakes, I've made a few, but I'm only human. (Or at least I have the thought in my head that I am a human).
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
It's July the seventeenth, twothousand and five. I don't come to blogger anymore everyday. I am getting tired of the computer. I go to www.myspace.com, and to www.neopet.com, and I do my e-mail also, and lately I had so many e-mails, that I got tired of answering them!!
I do this to myself, I want to talk to people, but then, I realise that I want to be an annonymous speaker more than I want to actually know the people. I joined this online group, and it sounded so good, it's a group where you can ask for prayers, and give praise reports, and do bible studies, but then that added 30 or more e-mails to my address per day!!
So now, I have been going to the www.alienlovespredator.com site and hide out there in many of the forums, talking nonsense. I like Abe and Preston though. The person who draws the comic is really good and funny (at times). Sometimes he/she is just irreverant. Like having JESUS stay at Abe and Preston's apartment, and HE is a pitcher for some ball team.
HE is the best player ever, though. I guess that is something, huh?? If JESUS played the game, I bet that HE would be the best player ever!! Yet, to live in the apartment with those two stinking extraterrestials??
Sorry, I guess that HE (JESUS), is extraterrestial HIMSELF?? Being that GOD is HIS FATHER, well....., in the PERSON of the HOLY SPIRIT, WHO overshadowed Mary to impregnate her. So, when you think of it. I now decide that HE is the perfect room-mate for Abe the alien, and Preston, the predator. They all seem to really get along.
Anyway, leaving the world of people from another place, and coming back down to earth, at least the place that I have always thought fondly of as "earth". I don't know though, this may be a segment of the T.V. show I had come to know as "The Twilight Zone".
Sometimes, I just want to go to bed, and then go to sleep, and then wake up!! Wake up in a different reality. It doesn't matter what other people think, it only matters what I think. I don't want to follow through with this senario. I've gotten to the age that I am now, and I am tired of this life. No, I didn't say I'm tired of living, I said this life!!
I want a life where I wake up and I am me, only better. I have gotten used to being me. I used to love being me. Maybe that was just injected into my memory?? I seem to have the memory that I loved being me. I had fun, (at least I thought that I had fun), long ago. It was stupid, but then, I was young. So what did I know??
I have memories of having some scary moments during the time that I was raising my three children. Still, either I got through that okay, or else I have memories injected into my mind making me think that I got through that part of life pretty okay. Not any real tragic happenings, well....., at least not any that I couldn't live with.
When I wake up, and I am myself, only better, I don't care if I am still 58!! I don't care if I am still separated from Richard. Except, that if I were myself, only better, I do think that I would have filed for a divorce at least two years ago. Why do I think that there is something in me right now that is hindering me from doing that anyway??
Because I haven't done it!!! There's no better watermark of whether an idea is doable, or not doable, than that of either doing it or not doing it. Right?? Makes perfect sense to me. If I could of divorced him, I would have done it. I can't even decide what I want to eat for breakfast in this reality, or even if I want to eat, at all.
Sometimes I wonder how I made it to this age, I was so full of indecision, all my life, (or at least I have a memory of being indecisive all my life). It is so cool when you watch movies, and it is going along at a great clip, then "gong", everything changes!! It isn't real at all, the person who had the wonderful life, is really all tied up in a straightjacket, and is being awakened by some weird looking nurse patting him/her on the side of their face!!
Saying, "wake up, so and so, it's time for your sleeping pills, doctors orders"!! That's what I'm waiting to happen. I'll wake up in some medical lab, with a anal probe, and catheter, and little blue, (yes, blue~~not grey), creatures squiggling all over the floor, and tall Asian looking aliens talking in a language that sounds like "clock glugg blook bliggah doon doonee gonk".
Oh, the little blue squiggling thingies are like janitors, you know like snails in a fish bowl?? I am so happy though, 'cause then I'll know that I'm not really dying slowly of what ever disease this is I have right now, that makes me hurt twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!! Yeah!!
I STILL want to be the mother of my three kids, Gilbert is someone elses joy now. I couldn't take him away from Ann, and LaShane has her five kids!! She and Garth Sr., are happy and have a good relationship, wouldn't want to ruin that.
Cherokee has the whole world open before her, if I wasn't here, she could do anything in the world she wanted to do. So, if I was up on the Mothership, all of my kids would get along fine, and my grandkids would forget about me quick enough. Then on the other hand, if I had of gotten abducted before I was 16, would that have changed the world so much??
Maybe?? Maybe not?? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, damn!! Never mind. I'm here, and I've had years and years to do what I wanted to do, so if I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted to do. That's on me, right?? Every body has to make their own choices. I've made mine. Mistakes, I've made a few, but I'm only human. (Or at least I have the thought in my head that I am a human).
