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Saturday, May 07, 2005
Today is saturday. I have a wonderful feeling this morning. I have gone and read a few of my acquaintences blogs, some of their archived blogs, and I feel that I have something to contribute to someone, with the offering up of my own experiences.
When I was a teenager/young adult, we were in a period of war, the same as it is today, but it was our time, we were passionate and opinionated. We didn't think that we were going to live to 21 at that time, so we thought that we had to do everything "right then", we had to fall in love, have kids, (if we were so inclined), maybe we even had to get married? It had to be quick, and it had to be now, and it sure wasn't painless. Yet, in alot of ways it was fun.
It was the time of "make love not war"!! "Give peace a chance", "I'm leaving next month, and I don't know if I'll ever see you again". It was because in those days, VietNam was so HUGE, 'cause guys right around my age were going, lots didn't come home, alive, even my brother Robbie went, and sadly he also came home in a coffin. We (lots of my friends and me), thought that this was "the beginning of the end". When life kept going on, and on. I think that things got so bad, that I was slightly disappointed, I was tired of the fighting.
I had my child, I had had the "love of my life", and it hadn't worked for me. I made alot of bad choices, not the decision I made to keep my baby, but the one of not getting married to the first guy that asked me, even though he wasn't the baby's father. I don't know why I felt that that was the life I wanted? Being an un-wed mother? An un-wed teen-aged mother, and high school drop out at that? As days went by, the realization came upon me, hey, this is HARD, WORK, WOW!!!!
What happened to the fun? What happened to the songs we sang about peace, and the wine that was always pouring so freely, and the running around in the streets like maniacs, we were constantly screaming out, "HELL no, we won't go" !!! Lots of us didn't go. Yet, stil it all stopped, and I saw that all I was facing was the fact that I had bottles to make, and diapers to change, sometimes a sick baby to care for, and no man there to help in any way.
Then I decided if I was left with a baby to raise, and a job to get to do that. I had better go back and finish school, so I got my GED, and went to work. Anyway, that story has been told over and over, spoken about, and hashed over, so I'll stop it right there. People get tired of hearing "how I got over". Oh yeah, that baby got on all right, he is a wonderful man as I know him, and love him.
I am a different person now, but I must admit, I did alot of stuff, I've gone through alot of stuff, and I survived alot of stuff too. I like to be asked questions about it, and I like to tell people that just like I did, you can survive all of the wrong choices also. With GOD, all things are possible!!!!!! But let me tell you that, without HIM??? Life is hell, on wheels, going downhill, on ice!!!!!
Life went on, and we are in alot of pain now, and we are so scared right now. Even with GOD right here, I am aprehensive ( in my natural state), about my future. The world isn't a nice place, things are chaotic, and craziness and total insanity abounds. I have to think that it will soon come to an end, at least an end to the things that we are going through right now. When I read my scriptures, I do have hope. I don't even look at death the same as I used to.
I just trust in the LORD with all of my heart, I don't lean to my own understanding, in all my ways, I acknowledge HIM, and I have faith that HE has directed my path, all the way". One day at a time, that is. (and). I take things one day at a time. Oh, don't get me wrong!! I still "bitch and moan", but that is just human nature, and if I am one thing and one thing only, it is human!
Okay? I never claimed to have all the answers, heck some of the time, most of the time, actually, I am grossfully unable to even formulate any of the questions, let alone know many of the answers!! I do have several experiences under my belt, and they are right here on the surface, waiting for me to take them out and dust them off, and offer them to someone else, in hopes that it might help someone else avoid the ruts and pitfalls that I myself fell into along the way to where I am now!! Which is no more and no less, than a 57, nearly 58 year old surviver.
In my fifties, still alive, (for the most part), and still in a position to think that: Love still is the most wonderful thing in the whole world!! That being with someone that makes you laugh and is always right there for you and you are right there for them is truly something special, and that having your spouse as your dearest friend is a total miracle that needs to be blessed and nurtured and taken care of as if the promises (to love honor and obey) were made of pure platinum!!
We know how precious that is. Right?
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is saturday. I have a wonderful feeling this morning. I have gone and read a few of my acquaintences blogs, some of their archived blogs, and I feel that I have something to contribute to someone, with the offering up of my own experiences.
When I was a teenager/young adult, we were in a period of war, the same as it is today, but it was our time, we were passionate and opinionated. We didn't think that we were going to live to 21 at that time, so we thought that we had to do everything "right then", we had to fall in love, have kids, (if we were so inclined), maybe we even had to get married? It had to be quick, and it had to be now, and it sure wasn't painless. Yet, in alot of ways it was fun.
It was the time of "make love not war"!! "Give peace a chance", "I'm leaving next month, and I don't know if I'll ever see you again". It was because in those days, VietNam was so HUGE, 'cause guys right around my age were going, lots didn't come home, alive, even my brother Robbie went, and sadly he also came home in a coffin. We (lots of my friends and me), thought that this was "the beginning of the end". When life kept going on, and on. I think that things got so bad, that I was slightly disappointed, I was tired of the fighting.
I had my child, I had had the "love of my life", and it hadn't worked for me. I made alot of bad choices, not the decision I made to keep my baby, but the one of not getting married to the first guy that asked me, even though he wasn't the baby's father. I don't know why I felt that that was the life I wanted? Being an un-wed mother? An un-wed teen-aged mother, and high school drop out at that? As days went by, the realization came upon me, hey, this is HARD, WORK, WOW!!!!
What happened to the fun? What happened to the songs we sang about peace, and the wine that was always pouring so freely, and the running around in the streets like maniacs, we were constantly screaming out, "HELL no, we won't go" !!! Lots of us didn't go. Yet, stil it all stopped, and I saw that all I was facing was the fact that I had bottles to make, and diapers to change, sometimes a sick baby to care for, and no man there to help in any way.
Then I decided if I was left with a baby to raise, and a job to get to do that. I had better go back and finish school, so I got my GED, and went to work. Anyway, that story has been told over and over, spoken about, and hashed over, so I'll stop it right there. People get tired of hearing "how I got over". Oh yeah, that baby got on all right, he is a wonderful man as I know him, and love him.
I am a different person now, but I must admit, I did alot of stuff, I've gone through alot of stuff, and I survived alot of stuff too. I like to be asked questions about it, and I like to tell people that just like I did, you can survive all of the wrong choices also. With GOD, all things are possible!!!!!! But let me tell you that, without HIM??? Life is hell, on wheels, going downhill, on ice!!!!!
Life went on, and we are in alot of pain now, and we are so scared right now. Even with GOD right here, I am aprehensive ( in my natural state), about my future. The world isn't a nice place, things are chaotic, and craziness and total insanity abounds. I have to think that it will soon come to an end, at least an end to the things that we are going through right now. When I read my scriptures, I do have hope. I don't even look at death the same as I used to.
I just trust in the LORD with all of my heart, I don't lean to my own understanding, in all my ways, I acknowledge HIM, and I have faith that HE has directed my path, all the way". One day at a time, that is. (and). I take things one day at a time. Oh, don't get me wrong!! I still "bitch and moan", but that is just human nature, and if I am one thing and one thing only, it is human!
Okay? I never claimed to have all the answers, heck some of the time, most of the time, actually, I am grossfully unable to even formulate any of the questions, let alone know many of the answers!! I do have several experiences under my belt, and they are right here on the surface, waiting for me to take them out and dust them off, and offer them to someone else, in hopes that it might help someone else avoid the ruts and pitfalls that I myself fell into along the way to where I am now!! Which is no more and no less, than a 57, nearly 58 year old surviver.
In my fifties, still alive, (for the most part), and still in a position to think that: Love still is the most wonderful thing in the whole world!! That being with someone that makes you laugh and is always right there for you and you are right there for them is truly something special, and that having your spouse as your dearest friend is a total miracle that needs to be blessed and nurtured and taken care of as if the promises (to love honor and obey) were made of pure platinum!!
We know how precious that is. Right?
1 Comments:
Sorry I haven't visited in awhile. I like the red instead of the pink. I think it suits you better.
Very good post. Keeps me in mind of how much God does for me on a daily basis. Thanks.
