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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Hello everybody!! That's fun, saying "everybody" as if there is a whole world out there just waiting for me to come and post on this site!! Well, whether or not you're out there, I am HERE!!
Yesterday, (tuesday, May 17th, 2005), I really didn't care who was around. I woke up with a humongous headache, neauseous stomach, and just generally feeling like I was gonna die!!! In fact right at that point, I think I would have welcomed it.
Have you ever had one of those days? Nothing you had done, just woke up feeling like 100 miles of bad road? It is no fun, I tell you. For awhile I was thinking, "well, I sure don't feel like going on the computer today". I envisioned, taking some MORE equate extra strength pain relievers, and just laying back down.
Yet, I am addicted to the computer (!!). So, I just had to touch it, even if only to do my e-mail. Soon as I got on YAHOO, I saw over 100 emails in my inbox!! I thought to myself, "see you got stuff to do, you can't just hop back into bed and ignore this, why, by tomorrow there'll be that many more"!
So, I sat down at the desk and started opening emails. I have joined this group on MSN, and the sisters there pray for each other, ask for prayer, and give praise reports. Sometimes the manager of the site also posts sermons. I tell you it's very uplifting!! Even when I go and one of the ladies asks for prayers. It helps me take my mind off of my own woes, and focus on someone else.
Before long, I was feeling as if I might make it!! Of course there were fifteen or so posts on the site and I like to read them all, and even post a response now and again, just to say "hello" or add some of my own personal experience for someone else who is going through something that I may have already been through.
You'd have to be approved by the moderator, but if this is something that you have been looking for, you should take a look at it yourself. I'll post a link to the site at the bottom of my post. I love GOD, JESUS, and the HOLY SPIRIT. I don't know why THEY love me. Maybe because I am so flawed. I am wishy-washy to the point of almost being immobile in the face of any decision.
I don't know whether to eat or not to eat, if my daughter hasn't cooked anything, I will look in the refrigerator, see things there and think, "well, better not touch that, I don't know if Cherokee is going to use that later". She get so frustrated with me, because of that very thing, and I don't blame her. I'm like someone who's been brain-washed. I can't make a move, without an order to do so.
Most of the time I don't want to do anything but HIDE. Why? I don't know. It's another one of those mysteries in my life that either I cannot face, don't want to face, or I'm afraid to face it and find out the real reason why I am the way that I am. I just don't want to rock the boat. I don't want any more things or people in my life making me have to do things, or get involved with things.
I have enough right now to last til JESUS comes back!! So, most of my life is on this computer. I go out to shop, and eat with my daughter and my two nieces, I visit my oldest daughter and her family, and I go to Plushcafe and visit my son and his wife, that is a full enough life for me at this time!! I even stopped going to church with my two nieces, because that was making me have weird withdrawl sensations.
I can't explain that one. I started out loving to go. And I even volunteered to make phone calls, but there were ways to do that, and ways that you had to report which calls you made, and what was said, and how the calls went, you know: protocol. I can't handle that, I couldn't handle that, I had to quit. That made me feel guilty. Then they changed the way the church met.
Now, it was more like a "coffee shop" atmosphere, we sat around a table, and had these little groups, and you could go and buy coffed and drink it while the ministers were giving the sermon. I just got very uncomfortable in that setting, I don't know why. It was meant to be more intimate, and I assume that Michelle and Charlene enjoyed it. I just didn't.
I couldn't bring myself to go any longer. I felt very guilty about that also. I really liked the people at the services, that I had met. I probably allowed the devil to run me out, and I was too weak to stand against him. That is why I join on-line prayer groups, and get bible scriptures sent to my email box daily. To encourage me in the LORD.
Anyway, I haven't forgotten how much I need GOD in my life, it is just that I don't want other people there along with HIM. That is so wrong!!! It's like that old Bill Withers song, a part of it states, "It's like a man loving JESUS, but swears he can't stand the Jews". I claim to love GOD, but I am not so fond of people.
Whom HE loved without measure!! One thing I know is that serving GOD means serving people. We are HIS top priority. I can only take the human race in small doses.
Wouldn't you know it? I got this "mini-sermon" in my email just today, (just right now as a matter of fact), from my prayer group! Very timely, wouldn't you say??
************************************************************************************
I desire you today. Your presence delights MY heart. There is no need to hide. With ME, you are fully accepted. There are no barriers. Let ME never be far away. MY throne of grace is always open. Come boldly before ME and I will shower upon you MY mercy and love. Even as I am hungry for your presence, I want you to be hungry for MINE. Seek after ME with all your heart. MY presence will envelope you and IT will go before you. So, come and let us walk together hand in hand in the cool of the day. Let us be excited about this day and all it holds. I desire you today.
************************************************************************************
Yep, I do feel that GOD is listening and watching every word I think, speak, or even type!! Whew! Pam
Here is that link. Hope that you check it out.
<http://groups.msn.com/login_info.msnw?referer=join&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fgroups%2Emsn%2Ecom%2FTru2GodAlways%2F%5Fjoin%2Emsnw%3F&commname=Tru2GodAlways>
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello everybody!! That's fun, saying "everybody" as if there is a whole world out there just waiting for me to come and post on this site!! Well, whether or not you're out there, I am HERE!!
Yesterday, (tuesday, May 17th, 2005), I really didn't care who was around. I woke up with a humongous headache, neauseous stomach, and just generally feeling like I was gonna die!!! In fact right at that point, I think I would have welcomed it.
Have you ever had one of those days? Nothing you had done, just woke up feeling like 100 miles of bad road? It is no fun, I tell you. For awhile I was thinking, "well, I sure don't feel like going on the computer today". I envisioned, taking some MORE equate extra strength pain relievers, and just laying back down.
Yet, I am addicted to the computer (!!). So, I just had to touch it, even if only to do my e-mail. Soon as I got on YAHOO, I saw over 100 emails in my inbox!! I thought to myself, "see you got stuff to do, you can't just hop back into bed and ignore this, why, by tomorrow there'll be that many more"!
So, I sat down at the desk and started opening emails. I have joined this group on MSN, and the sisters there pray for each other, ask for prayer, and give praise reports. Sometimes the manager of the site also posts sermons. I tell you it's very uplifting!! Even when I go and one of the ladies asks for prayers. It helps me take my mind off of my own woes, and focus on someone else.
Before long, I was feeling as if I might make it!! Of course there were fifteen or so posts on the site and I like to read them all, and even post a response now and again, just to say "hello" or add some of my own personal experience for someone else who is going through something that I may have already been through.
You'd have to be approved by the moderator, but if this is something that you have been looking for, you should take a look at it yourself. I'll post a link to the site at the bottom of my post. I love GOD, JESUS, and the HOLY SPIRIT. I don't know why THEY love me. Maybe because I am so flawed. I am wishy-washy to the point of almost being immobile in the face of any decision.
I don't know whether to eat or not to eat, if my daughter hasn't cooked anything, I will look in the refrigerator, see things there and think, "well, better not touch that, I don't know if Cherokee is going to use that later". She get so frustrated with me, because of that very thing, and I don't blame her. I'm like someone who's been brain-washed. I can't make a move, without an order to do so.
Most of the time I don't want to do anything but HIDE. Why? I don't know. It's another one of those mysteries in my life that either I cannot face, don't want to face, or I'm afraid to face it and find out the real reason why I am the way that I am. I just don't want to rock the boat. I don't want any more things or people in my life making me have to do things, or get involved with things.
I have enough right now to last til JESUS comes back!! So, most of my life is on this computer. I go out to shop, and eat with my daughter and my two nieces, I visit my oldest daughter and her family, and I go to Plushcafe and visit my son and his wife, that is a full enough life for me at this time!! I even stopped going to church with my two nieces, because that was making me have weird withdrawl sensations.
I can't explain that one. I started out loving to go. And I even volunteered to make phone calls, but there were ways to do that, and ways that you had to report which calls you made, and what was said, and how the calls went, you know: protocol. I can't handle that, I couldn't handle that, I had to quit. That made me feel guilty. Then they changed the way the church met.
Now, it was more like a "coffee shop" atmosphere, we sat around a table, and had these little groups, and you could go and buy coffed and drink it while the ministers were giving the sermon. I just got very uncomfortable in that setting, I don't know why. It was meant to be more intimate, and I assume that Michelle and Charlene enjoyed it. I just didn't.
I couldn't bring myself to go any longer. I felt very guilty about that also. I really liked the people at the services, that I had met. I probably allowed the devil to run me out, and I was too weak to stand against him. That is why I join on-line prayer groups, and get bible scriptures sent to my email box daily. To encourage me in the LORD.
Anyway, I haven't forgotten how much I need GOD in my life, it is just that I don't want other people there along with HIM. That is so wrong!!! It's like that old Bill Withers song, a part of it states, "It's like a man loving JESUS, but swears he can't stand the Jews". I claim to love GOD, but I am not so fond of people.
Whom HE loved without measure!! One thing I know is that serving GOD means serving people. We are HIS top priority. I can only take the human race in small doses.
Wouldn't you know it? I got this "mini-sermon" in my email just today, (just right now as a matter of fact), from my prayer group! Very timely, wouldn't you say??
************************************************************************************
I desire you today. Your presence delights MY heart. There is no need to hide. With ME, you are fully accepted. There are no barriers. Let ME never be far away. MY throne of grace is always open. Come boldly before ME and I will shower upon you MY mercy and love. Even as I am hungry for your presence, I want you to be hungry for MINE. Seek after ME with all your heart. MY presence will envelope you and IT will go before you. So, come and let us walk together hand in hand in the cool of the day. Let us be excited about this day and all it holds. I desire you today.
************************************************************************************
Yep, I do feel that GOD is listening and watching every word I think, speak, or even type!! Whew! Pam
Here is that link. Hope that you check it out.
<http://groups.msn.com/login_info.msnw?referer=join&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fgroups%2Emsn%2Ecom%2FTru2GodAlways%2F%5Fjoin%2Emsnw%3F&commname=Tru2GodAlways>
