<
Monday, February 07, 2005
Yeah, it is. I watched Carnivale yesterday, and I didn't get to go to church either, (because), I went out with my nieces and daughter, (Michelle, Charlene and Cherokee), friday, grocery shopping for the group-home, (and for us, too), and some other places. I don't really remember now, but after being out all night thursday (at Plush Cafe)! I just couldn't go any where saturday, or sunday!!! Is it old age? THE PAIN, THE PAIN. Nothing helped, so while the three, under 35 year olds, went out and looked around at EVERYTHING, I had to sit here on the computer, ignoring the telephone, (it wasn't anyone I knew, must have been telemarketers, after Cherokee's voice asked them to leave a message, they hung up!! I was so glad, 'cause I didn't feel like getting up)!, and generally wishing that I was 27, instead of 57. Then I would be 1 year older than Charlene, four years younger than Michelle, and 5 years younger than my youngest child, Cherokee. That would serve her right! Where is the magic when you need it? I want to be a real live Fey, Sidhe, Seelie or Unseelie, I don't care! They look great, beautiful, and at hundreds of years old. Thanks Laurell K. Hamilton, for opening me up to yet another world that I cannot be a part of! I'm such a child of fantasy! When I watch, "Harry Potter", I want to be at Hogswarts, when I watch, "Matrix", I want to be with Neo, (just in the quiet times, not during the war). When I watch, "Carnivale", I want to be with Ben Hawkins, and tell him, "use your powers, Ben"!! I get absorbed, I get lost, I don't want to be just me. Then I try to write my own story, yes, I mean about my own life. I may get to two or three pages, and I stop. I think, I can't write that! It may be true, but I don't want to think about it myself, let alone let someone else read it!!! I did some stupid stuff as a youngster, and now when I think about it, I say to myself, "Thank YOU FATHER GOD, for JESUS dying for my sins, I accept"!!! They weren't bad for today's standards, but, whoa, for the mid 60s, when I went WILD? I think that it was the "Make Love Not War", sentiments that were flying around everywhere, and the fact that my Daddy had died around six years before. I just didn't care about anything, especially myself, or my future. Until I got pregnant, and had this extraordinary, wonderful, beautiful, special, handsome, little baby boy, (I was two months shy of 18), and I changed. My whole outlook on life shifted. I had to be "Mamma", to this sweet little miracle. I almost didn't make it! I died on the delivery table, honestly, but the doctor, (well, GOD working through him), saved me! Dr.Bronco Borazon, the instrument of THE ALMIGHTY! (even though "William Patterson", is the doctor whose name is on the birth certificate, I still don't know why, was he even in the room)? Oh, The reason I stopped breathing, and my heart stopped beating? I had "Eclampsia Toxemia", (blood poisoning), and I had never gone to any doctor for pre-natal care! Yeah, I know. STUPID, (years later, my cousin Carol Turner, died from the same condition, her little boy lived). We, Geno and I, stayed in the hospital for 10 days, and they drained all the poison out of me. When we left, I was feeling clean and refreshed! Then I went back for my six week check-up, and the doctor told me I was a "real beauty", but a bit ignorant for almost killing myself, and my baby! He was totally right, and very handsome, himself!! Anyway, we are fine now, (well, at almost 40, Gilbert Eugene, nicknamed Geno, is), I have major health problems, nowadays! Still, GOD allowed me to go on to be a married woman and a mother, twice again, and those little girls were both SO beautiful, I thought that they were gifts to the entire world, not just to me and their daddy, Richie Rich! They're pictured here on my blog, so you know what I mean. I felt so blessed too. Grateful, also. I think that I am a pretty good mother, despite my trying to kill myself, with neglect, as a kid. Now, as a Grandmother, I have these incredible second generation kids, that I adore! Two sets of outrageously attractive twins, boy/boy, & boy/girl, and a very gorgeous teen-aged granddaughter, all brilliant, and unique!!! With stellar personalities. So, "The devil can mean a thing for bad, and GOD can turn it around for good"!!! Whew! I'm good, even if it IS still monday!!
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, it is. I watched Carnivale yesterday, and I didn't get to go to church either, (because), I went out with my nieces and daughter, (Michelle, Charlene and Cherokee), friday, grocery shopping for the group-home, (and for us, too), and some other places. I don't really remember now, but after being out all night thursday (at Plush Cafe)! I just couldn't go any where saturday, or sunday!!! Is it old age? THE PAIN, THE PAIN. Nothing helped, so while the three, under 35 year olds, went out and looked around at EVERYTHING, I had to sit here on the computer, ignoring the telephone, (it wasn't anyone I knew, must have been telemarketers, after Cherokee's voice asked them to leave a message, they hung up!! I was so glad, 'cause I didn't feel like getting up)!, and generally wishing that I was 27, instead of 57. Then I would be 1 year older than Charlene, four years younger than Michelle, and 5 years younger than my youngest child, Cherokee. That would serve her right! Where is the magic when you need it? I want to be a real live Fey, Sidhe, Seelie or Unseelie, I don't care! They look great, beautiful, and at hundreds of years old. Thanks Laurell K. Hamilton, for opening me up to yet another world that I cannot be a part of! I'm such a child of fantasy! When I watch, "Harry Potter", I want to be at Hogswarts, when I watch, "Matrix", I want to be with Neo, (just in the quiet times, not during the war). When I watch, "Carnivale", I want to be with Ben Hawkins, and tell him, "use your powers, Ben"!! I get absorbed, I get lost, I don't want to be just me. Then I try to write my own story, yes, I mean about my own life. I may get to two or three pages, and I stop. I think, I can't write that! It may be true, but I don't want to think about it myself, let alone let someone else read it!!! I did some stupid stuff as a youngster, and now when I think about it, I say to myself, "Thank YOU FATHER GOD, for JESUS dying for my sins, I accept"!!! They weren't bad for today's standards, but, whoa, for the mid 60s, when I went WILD? I think that it was the "Make Love Not War", sentiments that were flying around everywhere, and the fact that my Daddy had died around six years before. I just didn't care about anything, especially myself, or my future. Until I got pregnant, and had this extraordinary, wonderful, beautiful, special, handsome, little baby boy, (I was two months shy of 18), and I changed. My whole outlook on life shifted. I had to be "Mamma", to this sweet little miracle. I almost didn't make it! I died on the delivery table, honestly, but the doctor, (well, GOD working through him), saved me! Dr.Bronco Borazon, the instrument of THE ALMIGHTY! (even though "William Patterson", is the doctor whose name is on the birth certificate, I still don't know why, was he even in the room)? Oh, The reason I stopped breathing, and my heart stopped beating? I had "Eclampsia Toxemia", (blood poisoning), and I had never gone to any doctor for pre-natal care! Yeah, I know. STUPID, (years later, my cousin Carol Turner, died from the same condition, her little boy lived). We, Geno and I, stayed in the hospital for 10 days, and they drained all the poison out of me. When we left, I was feeling clean and refreshed! Then I went back for my six week check-up, and the doctor told me I was a "real beauty", but a bit ignorant for almost killing myself, and my baby! He was totally right, and very handsome, himself!! Anyway, we are fine now, (well, at almost 40, Gilbert Eugene, nicknamed Geno, is), I have major health problems, nowadays! Still, GOD allowed me to go on to be a married woman and a mother, twice again, and those little girls were both SO beautiful, I thought that they were gifts to the entire world, not just to me and their daddy, Richie Rich! They're pictured here on my blog, so you know what I mean. I felt so blessed too. Grateful, also. I think that I am a pretty good mother, despite my trying to kill myself, with neglect, as a kid. Now, as a Grandmother, I have these incredible second generation kids, that I adore! Two sets of outrageously attractive twins, boy/boy, & boy/girl, and a very gorgeous teen-aged granddaughter, all brilliant, and unique!!! With stellar personalities. So, "The devil can mean a thing for bad, and GOD can turn it around for good"!!! Whew! I'm good, even if it IS still monday!!
