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Saturday, January 29, 2005
I didn't go on the computer at all yesterday. My daughter, LaShane and her kids came over and picked Cherokee and me up to come up the hill (as we call it), to spend a couple of days with the family. It's always fun for me to visit the grandkids, and my daughter and her husband, 'cause they are such great people! Still, I sleep better in my own bed, you know? It isn't really imperative that I get so much sleep, 'cause I don't have get up and go to work or anything, but, I just get really tired, and by the time I get back to the apartment, (down the hill), I feel like I had been doing slave labor at their house, or something! I usually sleep (after taking some over the counter help, like Tylenol P.M.), the rest of the day, that we get home, and all the next! I HATE BEING OVER FIFTY!!!!! I remember when I was in my early twenties, I could party for days at a time, and not need any sleep at all.
It was just so much fun. How things have changed from the late 1960s til 2005! My two best friends, Carol and Sharon, are both deceased now!!! I feel as if nothing is right anymore. In our late teens, and early twenties, I couldn't imagine going a day without seeing them. We were like the three musketeers. Then one by one, we got married, and lost touch, we still talked, and called each other on the telephone, but, Sharon moved to Compton, CA. Carol moved to Oakland, CA. I stayed in Riverside, CA. We became different people. I didn't understand why they would go to those "horrible" cities! I wouldn't even visit either of them. Of course, they still had family here, so they visited often. Now, that they are gone, and cannot visit at all, I miss the times we used to be inseparable! I am sitting here listening to the family interacting around me, and I am wondering, what will it be like when I am gone, and my daughters are in their fifties?
I just hope that they keep in touch with their friends and not neglect any of their friendships. My two daughters are closer in age than I was to my sisters, and they are better friends than I was with my sisters, Anna is four years older than me, and Billiejean is six years older, so I just didn't connect that well with either of them growing up. They always tried to tell me what to do like they were my mother, and by the time I got 14, they were grown up, and, by then I sure didn't want them in my social life. I didn't hang around their groups, and didn't want to. I didn't know Billiejean's friends well at all, and I thought that Anna's group of friends were totally childish acting, and simple minded. To tell the truth, we never were friends in any type of social situations, until we were all over twenty one, but, still, I didn't think my sisters were "my kind of people". Now, it hasn't changed much, but, I love both of them, and they are pretty cool women in their 60s! I still see them as I always did, with the eyes of a younger sister though, so, I don't confide in them, and I don't expect them to confide in me. Strange, huh? I have six brothers (still living), also. I don't confide in any of them, or their wives, either, but I think they are all great couples, in their own right. We just don't have anything in common, any more to draw us together, I did hang around with a couple of my brothers when we were younger, at that time we liked to do the same things, party, and get high, where my sisters didn't. Oh, they partied, but they didn't get high, so I thought they were "LAME". It took me a long time to get over doing that stuff, (MJ), but I did it, and I am glad that I have been free of that weed since I was 43 years old. I started smoking it when my dad died, and, I thought I couldn't live without it for the next thirty, I was a wreck. So were a couple of the guys too, I did have seven brothers, but our eldest brother Robbie, was killed in VietNam, (in 1966), he was like our dad, ~after our dad died in 1959~, we all just idolized Robbie, and he is in a way, still a legend in our family. Then our mother died of cancer, in 1971, so I think we all had a lot of issues for many years, and I, for one, thought that marijuana helped me "cope".
I don't know what our family dynamic would have been like if Robbie had lived, and come back from VietNam, but since he didn't, we don't talk about what ifs. Deep down though, I think we would have been totally different, and less needy. It just wasn't meant to be, I guess. The family is totally nine separate units as of now. Each doing our own thing. We get together every once in awhile, and that is enough. When our children were younger, we all got together almost every month, celebrating birthdays, then as the kids aged, we stopped with so many parties, and just tried to get together at least once or twice a year, or whenever one of our kids got married, or even for funerals. If it was at all possible, we kept in touch just for love's sake. I know other families though, that don't ever bother seeing their relatives, or keeping in touch, and don't miss them either. I think that is a sad thing, and I don't understand people like that. I still have to keep up with what is going on with everyone, even if it is just by e-mail!!!
It is only early evening, and yet, I am getting so tired! Usually I stay on this site for hours, but now, I cannot do it. I'll close for now, and come back tomorrow, or maybe the day after, When I am rested up and have a legitimate subject to talk about.
~~~~~~~~~~Pamela~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't go on the computer at all yesterday. My daughter, LaShane and her kids came over and picked Cherokee and me up to come up the hill (as we call it), to spend a couple of days with the family. It's always fun for me to visit the grandkids, and my daughter and her husband, 'cause they are such great people! Still, I sleep better in my own bed, you know? It isn't really imperative that I get so much sleep, 'cause I don't have get up and go to work or anything, but, I just get really tired, and by the time I get back to the apartment, (down the hill), I feel like I had been doing slave labor at their house, or something! I usually sleep (after taking some over the counter help, like Tylenol P.M.), the rest of the day, that we get home, and all the next! I HATE BEING OVER FIFTY!!!!! I remember when I was in my early twenties, I could party for days at a time, and not need any sleep at all.
It was just so much fun. How things have changed from the late 1960s til 2005! My two best friends, Carol and Sharon, are both deceased now!!! I feel as if nothing is right anymore. In our late teens, and early twenties, I couldn't imagine going a day without seeing them. We were like the three musketeers. Then one by one, we got married, and lost touch, we still talked, and called each other on the telephone, but, Sharon moved to Compton, CA. Carol moved to Oakland, CA. I stayed in Riverside, CA. We became different people. I didn't understand why they would go to those "horrible" cities! I wouldn't even visit either of them. Of course, they still had family here, so they visited often. Now, that they are gone, and cannot visit at all, I miss the times we used to be inseparable! I am sitting here listening to the family interacting around me, and I am wondering, what will it be like when I am gone, and my daughters are in their fifties?
I just hope that they keep in touch with their friends and not neglect any of their friendships. My two daughters are closer in age than I was to my sisters, and they are better friends than I was with my sisters, Anna is four years older than me, and Billiejean is six years older, so I just didn't connect that well with either of them growing up. They always tried to tell me what to do like they were my mother, and by the time I got 14, they were grown up, and, by then I sure didn't want them in my social life. I didn't hang around their groups, and didn't want to. I didn't know Billiejean's friends well at all, and I thought that Anna's group of friends were totally childish acting, and simple minded. To tell the truth, we never were friends in any type of social situations, until we were all over twenty one, but, still, I didn't think my sisters were "my kind of people". Now, it hasn't changed much, but, I love both of them, and they are pretty cool women in their 60s! I still see them as I always did, with the eyes of a younger sister though, so, I don't confide in them, and I don't expect them to confide in me. Strange, huh? I have six brothers (still living), also. I don't confide in any of them, or their wives, either, but I think they are all great couples, in their own right. We just don't have anything in common, any more to draw us together, I did hang around with a couple of my brothers when we were younger, at that time we liked to do the same things, party, and get high, where my sisters didn't. Oh, they partied, but they didn't get high, so I thought they were "LAME". It took me a long time to get over doing that stuff, (MJ), but I did it, and I am glad that I have been free of that weed since I was 43 years old. I started smoking it when my dad died, and, I thought I couldn't live without it for the next thirty, I was a wreck. So were a couple of the guys too, I did have seven brothers, but our eldest brother Robbie, was killed in VietNam, (in 1966), he was like our dad, ~after our dad died in 1959~, we all just idolized Robbie, and he is in a way, still a legend in our family. Then our mother died of cancer, in 1971, so I think we all had a lot of issues for many years, and I, for one, thought that marijuana helped me "cope".
I don't know what our family dynamic would have been like if Robbie had lived, and come back from VietNam, but since he didn't, we don't talk about what ifs. Deep down though, I think we would have been totally different, and less needy. It just wasn't meant to be, I guess. The family is totally nine separate units as of now. Each doing our own thing. We get together every once in awhile, and that is enough. When our children were younger, we all got together almost every month, celebrating birthdays, then as the kids aged, we stopped with so many parties, and just tried to get together at least once or twice a year, or whenever one of our kids got married, or even for funerals. If it was at all possible, we kept in touch just for love's sake. I know other families though, that don't ever bother seeing their relatives, or keeping in touch, and don't miss them either. I think that is a sad thing, and I don't understand people like that. I still have to keep up with what is going on with everyone, even if it is just by e-mail!!!
It is only early evening, and yet, I am getting so tired! Usually I stay on this site for hours, but now, I cannot do it. I'll close for now, and come back tomorrow, or maybe the day after, When I am rested up and have a legitimate subject to talk about.
